i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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