its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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