You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
