You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
