Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
