Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
