Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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