I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
