I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
