omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
