Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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