too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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