Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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