forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i think my cat just said my name.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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