That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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