Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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