it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
