you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
