I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
