i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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