Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
