you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
