hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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