Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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