somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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