somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
