Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
