Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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