Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
