More tranny stories later!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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