i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
