I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
