i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
