Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i came on her dog
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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