I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
