so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
