Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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