Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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