The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Can I color on your dick again?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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