therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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