Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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