She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
