On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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