I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
