Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
