in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize