Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
