This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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