What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
