her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
