Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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